PLANNING YOUR BLISS-FILLED WEDDING
We may be a bit jaded, but we still get misty when we witness
two people pledging their commitment in front of those that
they care about. Weddings are not just a rite of passage;
a wedding is the ultimate way to demonstrate love and (in
our minds) an excuse to throw the biggest, most extravagant
and most expensive party you will ever have.
Planning your wedding can be the most wonderful and the
most stressful experience imaginable. There's something about
weddings that unearths the most deep seeded insecurities in
otherwise happy and content people. Everyone has heard horror
stories about brides who go off the deep end and become raving
&!@!$#*&!@!!! on their wedding day. (In our wedding planning
experience we've never seen such a creature, but if, in fact,
they do exist we are sure they are driven to it by some overly
demanding future in-law.)
There's already so much written about the nuts and bolts
of how to plan a wedding (how to create a budget, when to
hire the band, how to do the seating chart, etc.), so the
following tips are more for your general peace of mind and
to help you to feel confident and in control on your wedding
- Double check everything. Call all of your major vendors
(caterer, photographer, band, etc.) at regular intervals
just to check in -monthly or bi-monthly if you're planning
a year or more ahead, but in the final weeks try to touch
base weekly. Even if you don't have anything new to tell
them going over the details again and again will ensure
that any miscommunications will be caught ahead of time
and you will know every detail by heart as you approach
the big day.
- Know when to give in. We're not sure why, but weddings
tend to bring out the worst in people, especially the parents
of the bride and groom. Choose your battles wisely. Don't
compromise on the things that are MOST important to you,
but bend a little on less important issues to make your
future in-laws happy. Remember, your wedding is one day,
but you have to live with these people for the rest of your
(or their) lives.
- Share the joy. Not to perpetuate male stereotypes, but
we find grooms frequently do not want to partake in the
wedding planning process! Do not expect anyone, even your
future spouse, to be willing to discuss chicken versus salmon
or lilies of the valley versus roses for eight hours a day.
However, dividing up the tasks, sharing half the responsibility
each, will ease the burden.
- Stay on budget. Before you even begin planning you need
to figure out how much money you can comfortably spend and
a rough estimation of how many people will attend. This
will help you to intelligently determine every choice you
make about your wedding. Once you've figured out your budget
stick to it. Though $10,000 worth of flowers decorating
the aisle may sound beautiful, it's not worth being indebted
to your credit card company for the next 10 years. Remember,
you and your spouse may want to buy a house or have children
in the future.
- You can't control the weather. In other words, not every
detail of the event will turn out the way you envisioned
it. It may pour; your brother may get too drunk to give
a toast (or worse he gives the toast anyway); the cake may
be yellow, not "cream"; you may trip during your first dance.
There isn't much you can do to prevent these sorts of problems
from arising, but your reaction to these problems will make
a big difference. If you have a great sense of humor and
focus on enjoying the day so will your guests.